One of the things I’ve really been trying to pay attention to these days are those moments you have when everything seems to click. The “A-ha! Moments” when, even if for just a few seconds, everything seems clear. Those moments when it seems like God is trying to catch our attention. I truly believe that as God’s children, He is trying to speak with us and guide us all the time. (After all—wouldn’t you do the same for your children?) And those moments when we feel that “revelation”, so to speak, are those times when we actually pause from our all-encompassing daily lives to listen. Call it a revelation, call it clarity, you can call it what you want, but I call it a Kairos moment (And so does the all-knowing Wikipedia. See for yourself.)


In the past week, I’ve had two Kairos moments that have particularly stuck.

You see, part-way through last year I finally started to feel more settled in after moving back here. We had friends! We had a semi-schedule that I stuck to during the week days! We had finally finished potty-training! At last, I felt like I was getting a grip on the whole Stepford Wife/stay at home mom deal. And then the end of the year came with holidays, visitors, eye surgery, and general craziness and the schedule fell apart. I stopped cooking the awesome meals on a regular basis. We didn’t always have clean socks and I was completely falling behind on keeping up with the cloth diapers. I was on the internet more and playing with the kids less. The kicker came when I realized that I was getting upset/frustrated/angry with Leah and Isaac when they would interrupt me and prevent me from getting the things done that I “needed” to do. (Mainly cleaning, laundry, and a grocery shopping trip that didn’t result in me wanting to tear my hair out to match the two children in the cart who are, quite literally, tearing each other’s hair out…) My patience was short, and my temper was quick. Totally not who I want to be. Totally not who I want my kids to grow up to be.

It was during a quiet nap time one day while I was cleaning the house, when clear as a bell I heard, You are not home to keep your house clean. You are home to raise your children.

Ohhh. Right.

If it weren’t for our kids, I wouldn’t be staying at home. I would quite possibly still be commuting 50 miles one way in the most ridiculous traffic I’ve ever encountered to get to work. And here I wasn’t exactly treating them like a priority, but more like an interruption to my to-do list. Oops.

This past week has been an improvement. I’m trying to do a better job of integrating play time/teaching time with the usual things that are necessary to keep the house going. (And no, I did NOT clean the entire house top to bottom on Monday morning before I started this “play time integration” program.) (Yes I did.)  BUT, I can honestly say that I feel so much more relaxed, and I’m having much more fun with my little sidekicks.  My daily agenda is less stringent and therefore, less stressed.  It’s funny how a small shift in attitude can make such a big difference.  Thank you, God.

That was Kairos moment number 1. If anybody’s even still reading, onto number 2.

My mom and dad visited over the holidays. It was awesome. It always is. And yet, whenever I spend time with people I love, I’m not very good at making it obvious just how much I love and treasure them. It’s something I think about afterwards, once my parents/siblings/friends have already gone home. Sadly, my parents being my parents, they seem to be the pinnacle of this lack of appreciation. (And by that I mean, I appreciate them the most and they might be told the least.) I’m sure I’ve said it before, but since I’ve had Leah, my gratitude for all my mom and dad did for us kids growing up has skyrocketed. Yes, I noticed some of it when I was younger, but let’s face it—teenagers are selfish, no matter how you slice it. Parents do so much more behind the scenes stuff than we ever realize. (Until we are the ones actually doing the behind the scenes stuff.)

Since my parents have left, I’ve been wanting to call them or send them a general Thank-you-for-giving-up-so-much-of-you-for-me card.  And yet they went back home 3 weeks ago, and it still hasn’t been done. Then one day early in the week I had this horrible dream that my mom had died.  It was awful, obviously, and I woke up all panicky and nervous.  Now I’m not saying that I’m prophetic by any means.  I am not.  (Thankfully!)  But the point is that while in the dream, aside from the extreme sadness, there was one thought I couldn’t shake—I didn’t get to tell her thank-you.  I carried that with me throughout the next few days and couldn’t help but feel blessed.  Obviously, blessed to have the amazing parents (all 4 of them) that I have, but also blessed that I was able to have this moment of regret without actually having to lose anyone.  Thank you, God.  I often pause in telling and showing people how much I appreciate them for fear of vulnerability, an excessive amount of emotion, or even being cheesy.  How silly.  So for all of my friends and family out there, if I haven’t said it recently (and even if I have), thank you for bringing such joy to our lives.

And Mom and Dad? Your card is in the mail.  :)